| The Ladies' Lounge Sharing and support. |
Yesterday, 11:39 PM
| ? #1 (permalink) |
| Registered User ?Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 11 | For two years (our son is 2 years old now) I feel like our relationships did not get any better, even worse now. Don't get me wrong! I am so happy I have my little boy now! With him I can give and receive without thinking: "Oh, my God, when is the next yelling melt down!" My husband yells at me in front of our son! I hate him for that! I have been telling him to stop yelling in front our son and in general too...His only reply is - You made me to!! OK! I have said something to upset him, but how many brains should you have to NOT yell at all to resolve a conflict!?? Plus, I feel like I am never perfect for him! He yells and makes arguments from little things just because he was under stress while driving home in his "about to brake down old car". I feel like he wants things to go only HIS WAY - The Right Way. Situation this morning: Three of us are about to go shopping. He takes out trash, and our boy runs after him - wants to help. I start the car to meet them at the dumpster. I look for my son on the sidewalk - he is far away from the road, but half way yo his dad. I drive by in different direction and see his face turned towards me. That's all I saw. I knew he was safe. Few minutes later I see both of them walking around the corner. Husband is angry and barks at me something. In the car he stats to tell me how I am stupid for not looking for our son, he apparently ran after the car. I start to say that I saw he was safe, but did not see he ran after the car. He did not want to hear my side of the story. That made him angry even more. I asked him to stop yelling. No response! " You have a kid, you have to be careful about this things!" I told him again what I saw. Than he turned the car back to the house and went back home saying that he can't stand me. And that I should have apologized! About what? That he was angry! OK! I did not need any further yelling and I drove away. Later he told me, that I drove away - that means I can live without him! And he always gives me chances to be nice, but I always fail. WTF!! He gives me chances!!??? I am grate mother, homemaker, go to school FT and work PT. It is always hard to have new baby and be perfect! I just cant stand his yelling and insults - like: I wish I never met you! Your have become so different for two years! Your are thinking stupid, and always question me! We should get divorce! What is going on with him!? I am so stressed with him around!  I am afraid |
?
|  |
|
Today, 05:13 AM
| ? #11 (permalink) |
| Member ?Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 54 | Where do you live, Dragonfly? There are charities which can give you someone to talk to, but most likely you'lll have to pay if you want to talk with a professional. If your family are far away, try and build a support system closer to you - friends from work or your school, neighbours, etc. And of course, this forum Your husband does not listen. Try writing him a letter instead, saying that as much as you love him and want a family for your little boy, you cannot keep living in a relationship where there is no communication, with a man who can only scream and yell but will not listen. It takes two to make a relationship work. If he is unhappy with you or is not willing to better himself alongside you, then you must tell him you will not hesitate to go your separate ways. How are other aspects of your relationship? Aside from the yelling, is he loving and caring in other ways? Does he hug/kiss you often, offer romantic gestures, help around the house? How is your sex life? Sorry to bombard you with questions - it's just to get a better idea of your relationship. I hope things get better for you. |
?
| |
|
Today, 12:58 PM
| ? #15 (permalink) | |
| Registered User ?Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 11 | Quote:
So I wrote him a letter last night, he was at friend's place. Came back late and asked to talk. His main question was: Why you talk about how you hurt? What about me hurting when you are not listening to me? Plus, he said that he yells only when I try to say my opinion and try to defend myself. His under stress at work, trying to get money for family, giving me chance to study and not to worry about working too much, and when he is home early enough (it happens few times a week) he sees our son in dirty pants or with food on his face he thinks I am bad mother for not taking care of him. Even worse - if do that when he is home, I probably neglect his son when he is away. He says he can't trust me with keeping house clean (he can't stand dishes in the sink when he comes home tired), making him dinner in time, keeping our son healthy and clean. So I asked him - Am I not his mother? I madly in love with our little one - he is my happiness! Its OK that you asked questions. I know that people have ideas how they want to be loved by others. If to answer the question about love - I feel his love sometimes. He would buy me flowers sometimes, he would hug me (but not as often as I would do), many times I come to hug, he just stands there or walks away after few seconds. After I ask him - where is my hug, he would ask same question. He is great provider, but he always makes sure I remember how hard he works.
Last edited by _Dragonfly_; Today at 01:17 PM. | |
|
?
| |
| Find a Therapist: |
| |
Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/65276-relationships-got-worse-when-we-had-our-son.html
oscar nominations 2012 kombucha tea separation of church and state dale earnhardt oscar predictions nba all star game 2012 academy awards 2012 nominations
No comments:
Post a Comment